Ethnically Ambiguous - high school

Ethnic \Eth"nic\, Belonging to races or nations; based on distinctions of race; ethnological. [1913 Webster]

Ambiguous \Am*big"u*ous\, Doubtful or uncertain, particularly in respect to signification; capable of being understood in either of two or more possible senses; equivocal; as, an ambiguous course; an ambiguous expression. [1913 Webster]

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So I made it through grade school and just to make things easier (more horrific) I went to an ALL GIRL Catholic high school. I show up on the 1st day and guess what it's the great racial divide once again. On the left we have the white girls complete with the traditional Catholic school rolled skirt, on the right we have the black girls with their skirts past the knee and no where in particular there's me the chubby not quite anything girl with glasses and bangs.

(Note people with extremely thick curly hair should never have bangs cut way to short by their grandmothers)

Since we already know that I lived on the brown side of town/life I was immediately dismissed by the white girls. At first the black girls didn't know what to make of me. I wasn't white, I wasn't high yellow and sure as hell was not black. But I lived on the "other side" of Flatbush, my skirt was below the knee, I listened to hip hop/reggae and knew all the cool slang of the day. So I was kinda sorta adopted by the black girls but more so the nerdier side. If I wasn't in my fugly stage of life, I probably would have made it higher up the social ladder.

But hey I kinda fit in right?

Well yes and no. These were girls I talked/gossiped with, went to the mall with and even went to some of their houses but no one that would fall into a best friend category. No one that would invite me to a party or that I still talk to today. 
(The one girl I kept contact with while I was college,disappeared somewhere around junior year.)

Don't get me wrong, high school wasn't totally miserable I had some great laughs and enjoyed it on a voyeur level...like the time my entire school was put on lock down because another school was coming to throw down. Let's just say we all bonded for those few hours as earrings were taken off, Vaseline applied and rings were turned(you know the Jamaican gold ones with the high bezel and "rubies") for optimal claw claw bite. fun times, fun times!

But my defining high school memory is unfortunately a really shitey one. I don't remember what caused the rift in the senior class but the cliques were getting smaller and tighter and once again it looked like I was going to be the last one picked. We were all in the cafeteria and an argument started. All I clearly remember is being told by Denise H. to “STFUP because I wasn't even black”. Yep the cafeteria went silent, I went teary eyed and it felt like the whole school just stared right through me.

That was the first/only time someone came out and said what everybody always thinks when they see me. You're not Black, White, Chinese, Native American...you're just not. Needless to say the last few months of senior year weren't all the great but the dust settled and once again I was just outside and to the left. Graduation came and everyone parted ways I was off to Buffalo far away from my parents and the people that didn't care about me either way. I was super excited to be getting out and making new friends having new experiences and maybe even finding a boy who thought ethnically ambiguous girls with long manic panic/punky colors hair were their cup of tea.

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